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Amuse I - by Ian White

You don't bring me flowers anymore

flowers to get laid
Yo-Yo baby wanna git wit choo


A few years back, I came across a person who was the easiest going person I ever met. I guess you could call him a kindred spirit. He had a very simplistic way of living life. His logic gave me a higher sense of understanding and it seemed to untangle even the most complex problems. Sitting at the bar at about 2 o’clock one weekday afternoon, there was a person down the other end of the bar telling his heartbreaking tale of a broken relationship with a woman. My new friend just looked at me and said the most profound statement, “Women, can’t live with them, pass the beer nuts. That was five years ago and this free spirit suffered an untimely horrible death a week later from alcohol poisoning. That could be the reason why he was so nonjudgmental about life. Booze is also a good reason why men and women get together in the first place. The two things that many folks hold dear are making $ and getting laid.

beer and sex
Is this love that I'm feeling?





money getting laid



It just hurts to see everybody falling out of love. Just when you think you got a good thing going, somebody seems to have a change of heart. Heartache also runs rampant with celebrities.
arod and ex
strike 3........yer out!!



When a man loves a woman: Does he love the fact that she has a nice rack or does he adore that she snores and looks very frightening without makeup?
without make up
YHAMA-HAMMA!


When a woman loves a man: Women are much smarter than the man is. Most men do not always respect this but the truth hurts. Most women can do without sex. This drives the guys crazy, but some women may use this as bribery to satisfy their materialistic needs. If she can persuade her mate to let her have that dining set she’s had her eye on, then maybe she will fulfill his silly fantasy that he has had since he was 13 years old. (Fantasies are never as good in reality as they are in the imagination, so again, the woman has out smarted the man).
cornholed
You want that dining set honey?


Guys and gals are like oil and water. They don’t mix. And those that do are rare and there may be something wrong with them.
idiots
ignorance is bliss




I sit and laugh at fools in love. There aint no such thing as love. No angel singing up above today.

Frank Zappa
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